I'm taking a break from work and my phone rings. I look down at the caller ID. It says Grandpa. I hesitate for a moment because a) his birthday was last week, and b) he never calls me. Oh also, he's been dead for two years. What the fuck, I think. I stare at the phone for a moment longer and then answer.
Me: Uhhh…hello?
Mom: Are you busy? I need website help.
Me: What the…why are you…how are you calling from Grandpa's phone?
Mom: What?
Me: My caller ID says you're calling from Grandpa's phone.
Mom: Oh! Yes, it's his phone.
Me: I'm so confused right now. How are you calling from his phone?
Mom: We took his cell phone when he died. We have Grandma's too.
Me: What? She died like five years ago. How are they still working?
Mom: I don't know.
Me: Ok, now I'm even more confused. Who's been paying the bill for them?
Mom: Oh, they're prepaid. This one still has 14 minutes left.
Me: Ok. I…why did you call me with it again?
Mom: I need website help.
Me: Yeah, I…jesus…why did you call me with GRANDPA'S PHONE?
Mom: I couldn't find mine.
Me: But you could find his?
Mom: We keep it charged just in case.
Me: In case of what?
Mom: In case I can't find mine!
Me: And what if you can't find either?
Mom: We keep Grandma's charged too.
Me: I…
Mom: So can you help with my website?
Me: sigh