The old man’s arm curled up and over the back of his headrest. His skin was tar brown and stretched thin over ligament and bone. Gnarled fingers formed a hand that looked more like the burl of an ancient tree than an appendage that could move freely. His hand rested there, ten or so inches from my face. I wondered if he had diabetes or some other disease that limited feeling. Wondered as much because after seeing it dangling there in front of me for thirty minutes, I became curious […]

This is a procrastination post, straight up. I’m sitting in a coffee shop on Phaholyothin Road across from my current home in Bangkok, Thailand. It’s nice. There is a cat themed bar on the roof, and a hostel next door named “Everyday Sunday,” because, I’m assuming, people here love Sunday. I’ve been posting lots and lots of pictures and stories on my instagram (timnasium), and have been meaning to transfer them over here so as to actual host my content on my own page. But I haven’t yet. But that’s […]

I have one chance to live life as who I am, right now, on this planet. This is the mantra I say to myself multiple times a week. That is my creed I fall back on when I’m scared to do something. And it’s a necessity as someone who lives with anxiety and OCD, since I’m scared to do pretty much everything all the time. Just today, I had a slight breakdown going over the requirements for our visa (they are lengthy and complicated), and I’m sure I’ll have another […]

The first time I celebrated Halloween was probably in college. I never got the chance to go trick or treating or dress up when I was a kid because, you know, demons. But that didn’t mean we didn’t have fun! And by fun, I mean nightmares. Here is a collection of short anecdotes: Halloween seen from the perspective of a homeschooled fundamentalist Christian kid.   We bounced around endless churches during my childhood, but one that we spent a considerable length at was Love and Grace Fellowship. It probably had […]

It looks like hell outside. The air is orange and the fragile ashy skeletons of leaves that decided to float from the wildfires fifty miles aways and settle on my shirt streak into a paste of dust when I try to wipe them off. It’s a stark reminder of the end of things. I probably spend an average of an hour a day thinking about death. Some days it’s occasional fleeting moments and meanderings. But I’ve also spent ten straight hours obsessing about it. One could say that most of […]

For my birthday this year, I put together a rafting trip and rented a cabin in the wilderness and had a guys trip where we spent a lot of time trying to fart around, near, or on each other. I guess we did other things too. It was three friends and my brother, and I was ecstatic to have him fly in and join us. He’s had a rough life, but he’s doing well now, and I count every chance I get to spend time with him as a gift. […]

I’m sitting across from two heroin addicts in Starbucks. At this location, you need a code to use the bathroom, and that is only available with purchase. But they need that bathroom. They need to shoot up. So she bought a banana and put it on the table in front of him and he pulled out a large knife and cut it in half and said “There’s your fucking half” like he’s pissed at her about something. He’s wearing the kind of outfit that no one in the city wears […]

When I was a kid and I got physically sick, there was always an obvious cause. It didn’t matter if I had a cold, a headache, or I was suffering an asthma attack; by the end of the twentieth century, science and technology had come so far that we no longer had to guess what caused our maladies. I could simply tell my parents what was wrong, and within a few seconds they could ascertain exactly what was wrong with me, no matter what.   Demons. It was always demons. […]